it amazes me how a little bit of stress can cause my heart so much grief and thus distract me from what the Lord desires me to focus on. I always thought Satan would try to stop me with something big. i don't know what i thought big was or is i just thought BIG! like life changing BIG can't believe i survived it BIG! but i found that satan uses the smallest of worries to keep me from fully relying on Christ's power. maybe this is why God told us not to worry because he knows that worry will be harder to overcome than illness, or loss, or separation. because worry stirs an anxiety in us that builds a paralyzing fear. That Fear for me, keeps me from doing the very things i desire to do...it breaks down the relationships that are most important to me and build walls between the me God created me to be and the me i am in the midst of worry. As i begin to realize what is happening i fall into a state of grief. Not the grief that is healthy to walk through when you loose a loved one but the grief that you feel when you see nothing but failure in front of you. it is in this moment of smothering grief that i must cry out to my God to pull me up out of the pit. To set me free. to empower me from my own depths. to be the life i can't see in the moment. sometimes it is as easy as saying out loud: "God help me" but most of the time it is me fighting against myself, reminding myself that God has greatness for me and HE will provide the strength i need, and that He desires me to walk in a fullness of his power. those first few steps are so difficult. but i find with each step a little bit of the weight falls off and i am closer to freedom from my grief.
Push forward. walk in the power Christ has for you!! for HE will set you FREE.